Border with Cambodia Beautiful border, unfortunatelly for us not working

    Owing to the fact that our Thailand visa are almost expired, we have two possibilities. Either extend our visa in Bangkok = more delays, or cross the border. Of course we are for the second option and so we run like a wind(in our case more likely a breeze to windlessness). The only dial in tuk is ammeter. According to it we dash it almost 15A(by estimation 50 km/h). As soon as you manoeuvre out of Bangkok (which took almost 20Ah = 40km) the landscape starts to be pleasant - everywhere a rice field and after almost a month spent in a city it is a superb look. On the way tuktuk misbehaves and so we look for a repairmen, but what's wrong - nowhere in the surroundings nobody knows a zilch about tuktuks. Since we left Bangkok we haven't met a single tuk in 300 km. We must go for the border in any case. Visas are expired and for every day there is a fine fine. Border is nice but unfortunately for us they are unable to clear through customs a international traffic. To avoid more sanctions a get new visas he need to cross the border at least by foot - get Cambodian visas and enter the country again. Because we are looking for some info wee crisscross the border in fact illegally and with no passport. In the end some guy makes visas for us and so after getting visas we enter Cambodia only virtually. We've made a fine trip for fine and now we can fool around in Thailand again.

Thai custom clerk in Hawaiian uniform

    After the repair of toucan on the ground in front of bus station we go again to Cambodian border. This time another border crossing. We were warned before that it is almost impossible to cross with tuktuk. Cambodians allegedly don't like Thais and tuktuk is a symbol of Thailand. Some time we try to persuade custom clerk to let us out of country. Registration documents are not in our names, but we have a buying agreement. They let us out and now the ball is on Cambodian side. Cambodian visas we already mastered - we don't do them for first time :o) In addition we fill in a lot of papers and we go. Through the border I gurgle in tuktuk as sign says. Barrier is up and so everybody including me pass through. Kozáč on Vespa is stopped and checked. In a minute he joins me and we're in. YYYEEEEAAAH CAMBOOOOOO BABY. Some guy on motorbike is catching up with us and says something about going through without customs and I have to go back to the border. In the office is quite a nice guy and we chat. Afterwards quite calmly says, that he won't let me into Cambodia. WTF???? I have to have some letter from capital city to continue. I'm telling him a half-truth, that my friend passed through (I'm not telling him that he went with motorbike - those are with no problem). In the end he lets me go with the resolution that he won't give me a stamp and he will leave it to custom officers whether they let me go or not. One of them seems to have a good mood and when I explain to him everything he says: "I'm supposed to check whether you have visas and entrance stamp. Which you have. Concerning me everything is all right". _{Yyyyeeeeaaah Camboooo baby.}

Tuk sleeping in rubber tree plantation

    Today I will describe the advantages of driving tuktuk. Professional tuktuk driver is having unlike for example truck driver both hands tanned. Another advantage - the most significant feature which you will notice when driving our cart is it's speed. Maximum achieved speed is circa 58 km/h, but then you wouldn't hear ship siren over the engine noise. Such common travel speed is 50 km/h. That's ideal speed for traveling in the world, because nothing will escape your attention. At the same time you have almost no problem with traffic limits - you can go at the full speed village or not. Just sometimes they have limit 60 km/h so we have to speed up. We didn't get the fine for speeding, but we're trying as hell. Of course on 30km it will not be fair, even almost cowardice so we don't try there. Not that we avoid fines, but not yet for speeding.

First official When you get paper like this you have to hand in your papers in return

    Fines are a chapter by itself. As soon as we got stopped in Thailand by a policemen it is clear that we will pay. So far the worst fine was for two things at the same time - we don't have road tax paid(and as foreigners we are unable to do so) and what's more according to the cop we're not allowed to drive the tuktuk. It finishes by removing my driving licence and I have to stop by next day for it. Funnily looking station assembled of two Portakabins and hidden under highway flyover becomes even more funny during an attempt of explaining the offence. At the station nobody speaks English and so we are communicating with the help of thin police vocabulary, which contains just phrases:"Hello, how are you.","It would be *fill in the sum* baht.","Goodbye" and with the help of nicely made Thai-English fines menu. I'm trying to explain that my international driving licence covers also driving tricycles and that our tuktuk is no more a taxi, but private vehicle(difference in plates). It is going rally hard, because both of us just basically repeat the same, but as the saying goes repetition is mother of wisdom and so the guy is getting wise slowly and from 1000 baht we descend to 300. Satisfaction on both sides. So far it was the only official fine(all of the others were bribes) and so far the most cheap one.

It starts to happen to us, that some people recognize us in the streets - mainly professional drivers like other tuktuk and taxi drivers. From them we 're maybe even getting biggest support. Whenever we go somewhere they wave to us and show us a lifted thumb. In one shop we were approached by one tuktuk driver. We think that he will offer his services to us as usual, but he just says: "You buy tuktuk". And thumb. It's time to get out.

Situation underestimation? After seeing how locals get equipped, our assuredness vanishes

Preparations climaxes We try to equip with everything we can carry

Our preparations are almost finished. We bought last spare parts, which we can carry. We would preferably take Tuktuk and Vespa twice for spare parts. Thanks to assorted complications we overrun our planed stay from 2-3 weeks to 4, which is a bit too much for us. In Bangkok we started to go with closed eyes and we can open tourist office with information how to get where you need in here.

Trust of local people in Vespa have no limits. When we are buying last things we get throttle cables, lightbulbs and tyres. We got no more ideas what to buy, so we explain to the guy, that we have 15 thousand kilometers ahead of us and like what he will recommend as spare parts. We await that he will start to heap half of the store, but the guy just turns around and lays spark plug on the counter. Two of them. Let's hope that his trust proves well-founded. So what, the die is cast :o)

Cause of accidents As you can see the mandatory king portrait is not exactly a lightweight

Thailand had till recently high percentage of accidents in schools. For us quite not understandable. From light ones, across broken bones up to some tragic incidents ending by death. They were hit in class by falling mandatory picture of king. Until we saw the picture with our own eyes it didn't make sense. In the end, to stop this accidents, a decree was issued, that the wall which holds the picture have to be concrete one and the picture is to be hanged on steel hook 3cm in diameter.

Training is mandatory

It wasn't easy, but we made it

We have to admit it. Before we dared to go into real traffic with tuktuk we did rather a dry run :o)

    After long period of failure we start to consider emergency solution with Vespa. One of them is to buy expensive Vespa, through which you can see the road and second is to buy super-expensive Vespa, through which you can't see. Both from a shop of a merchant. When we finally decide to take super-expensive, there emerge another opportunity - gorgeous, incredibly cheap, but circa 1000km from us. But for the money... We wait for the weekend, but suddenly the guy don't have time and supposedly in a week. No way. In total desperation and depression I discover a new ad. We arrange meeting immediately and we go there. Vespa is good, but as we learn on the spot, it was standing 6 years in garage and doesn't thrum. Not a Vespa more. Next day we take tuktuk and we go for a distance of 2 fines(cca 15 km) through Bangkok. On the spot we tear out the seats stuff the Vespa inside. The seats follow back and the remaining space we fill with Kozáč. Vespa won't budge. Along the journey locals wave at us and sometimes even take a picture. Ensue a swift repair by pros in Piaggio service - above all unusual(nobody is taking us to shop spare parts and it looks like they would prefer if we even weren't there). On our return to hotel there awaits a surprise. In front of hotel is a delegation and the major himself is handing to us a honorary citizenship for transport of Vespa in the style which will leave no local guy embarrassed.

Info about the machine for interest:
Volume: 125 ccm
Type of engine: 2 cycles, 1 piston
Year of manufacture: 1965
Vin starts with (for gourmets from ranks of Vespa maniacs): VNB6T

    During our stay in the hotel we also notice unpleasant sides of residing in a district, where only foreigners live. The most tormenting and ingenious at the same moment is a form of livelihood of one of the local beggars. Every night he appears in front of our hotel and plays a flute. Two hours. At a stretch. Only song over and over again. After two days we know it by heart. After one week we contemplate how much to give him to never hear him again. After two weeks we speculate best way to dispose a body. Now we get used to it and we are tooooo toooo toootally all right.

    Arranging visas is also one of curious chapters in our lives in Bangkok. Myanmar is one of the countries which opened just recently for the world and tourism is playing constantly more important role there. We expect it to be peculiar - there are still parts of the country, where tourist can't go and another, which are accessible just with special permission. Our expectation of peculiarity was fulfilled - we didn't even managed to take the ticket with order number and it's our turn. Some grandpa,who was in between also called, is pressing on us from behind. At the window we are rejected with the question about driving in, with answer that they have no information and to pay for the visas. They only ask whether we want visas today or tomorrow. Tomorrow is good enough. In course of 3 minutes we are standing outside - Kozáč is still clutching the ticket, which, in that speed, he didn't managed to hand over. So much for the embassy of one of most guarded countries of recent past. But how it will look like on the border we don't know. According to accessible informations it is almost impossible, or just for such a money we don't have for all the expedition.

    The more surprising is Indian embassy. Here they want so many documents that we are unable to get it. Man must prove that nobody in his family in 7 generations back wasn't Pakistani. A bit of a problem is, that thanks to official Indian belief it is not just about your family tree, but also about all reincarnations into which all your ancestors turned. In this it is about the same theme - you have to prove, that none of the reincarnations is not villain and so you have to have certificate from vet, that there was not documented any case of attack on human by your ancestors and if there was, then all the details of that incident. Greatgreatgreatgrandpa was a mosquito and so I'm afraid that I don't even get the visa. This embassy we have to visit, due to the paperwork, repeatedly and for the visa we have to wait a bit. Exactly as they say in the leaflet on embassy - Incredible India.

    During one of the visits it is starting to rain a bit. Of a bit if a bigger bit and of it quite a flood. From the most severe rain everyone hides, but just as it starts to ease up the streets are being filled again. But the streets are filled not just with people. On the side-walk there is water almost knee deep(my knee, most of Thais is having it almost up to throat :-) Bangkok is called Venice of the east and the similarity is not ending just with channel transportations. People are fording across the cross walk and buses with motorbikes are driving as if nothing happens. They just push in front of them a wave which is enough to surf on. But the best in it is how the people are taking it. Overall atmosphere is reminding me first winter snow in kindergarten. Majority of people is laughing, sometimes is to be heard some screeching, when somebody get wet more than desired. The only difference is, that snow doesn't smell like cesspit and there are no dead rats in it.

Boat transport And it zips on the channel

We use quite often city transportation system. It is really diverse. There are buses, minibuses, mole(underground), űbermole(overhead railway), river boats, boats on channels, ferry. The whole is complemented with private transportation - cabs, tuktuks, minivans, motorcycles, dragon-tails(sightseeing boats). Each of these transports have it's magic - buses with teak floor will take you anywhere along the route just for 20 eurocents. Minibuses are numbered accordingly to big ones follow the route of their big brothers and mostly 2-3 stops before we want to exit the route changes. Űbermole have the AC set in such way that there is no exception to spot some beef and pork halves hanged on the handrail. But for us is the most interesting river and channel transportation.

Venice of the east

Along the channels ride boats with the length about 20 meters and they are going with such a speed that they raise waves more than meter high. And for going under the bridge they have folding roof. When 2 oncoming boats meet then the boat is tossed every possible direction and the less experienced driver the more you can feel this rocking. So when you come to some office and there is some greenish women and mumbles for herself something about amateurs, then you can be sure that she came to the work with a boat.
We enjoy boat transport really much so when we are in the city and according to Boženka (navigation in Kozáč's phone) there is boat transport like 1km from where we are, we don't hesitate and we set out. The journey is a bit lengthy and suddenly it seems that we reached the end of Bangkok. Skyscrapers vanished and on one side of the street is even empty space. Boženka wanted to make it interesting for us and so she dragged us to cargo docks. Well, we never travelled in container...

Vespa supply Affordable/unaffordable

We are all the time troubled with seeking Vespa. We're studiyng adverts, because the sellers want terrible amounts. Biggest problem are again leagal documents. Motorbikes are imported as parts and then somebody assemble them together. To acquire registration documents the motorbikes have to go through customs. So a lot of them is driving without any documents.

Vespa is a toiler These small scooters are regarded as the most dependable working motorcycles in Bangkok.

Vespa like that can be obtained for something like 20-30 thousands Baht in classified ads. In the shop 40-50. With the documents in the shop 70-80(rusty junker 50).Calling in reply to the ad's is quite strange - 90% of people don't speak english. Sometimes they will just say Vespaaaaa. No, no, no, no, no. With the help of locals we ring round some more ads. Often unsucessfully. Sometimes we manage even to set up meeting, but without satisfying results. When we are totaly depressed and we hassled all english speaking locals in the range of 2 km, we start the real fun. We're discovering in google translator the words we need and we let them get played. I'm giving it a try and it looks like a breaktrough. Instead of usual no, no, no I'm getting mai, mai, mai("No" in thai ). After several phonecalls reminding Thai lesson for mentally disabled, we go to hassle people again. When I'm taking our notebook with me I learn, that most of those ads is circa 2 years expired. I think that with "maj" I got it pretty decent. If somebody phoned me like this, then this word will be the most polite word in all conversation.

With tuktuk we were very lucky. Before our departure, I managed to contact the person who has done something similar, they have traveled through Asia in tuktuks. After this fun, he was left with debris of former tuktuks and one of them (the ours) was gurgling recently. With this machine we got the original documents, which are scarce as hen's teeth in Thailand. According to our findings, we would almost be unable to get a tuktuk with documents, or only for a large sum. Thanks, John. Aloha.

Kozáč is repairing This is how it looks like when repairing is in full swing

Tuktuk transportation is real fun, but even greater is its repair. It goes something like this. You arrive to the mechanic and he looks at it - estimate the cost of repair and says that next day we will do it. The second day at 2 o'clock can be seen that he removed the engine cover and took out the spark plugs. Super. In our presence he indicates that the front wheel is screwed and let's go to the store, where he says: you need a rim, tyre, axle... Return to the service that is side walk a short distance from the store. Everything is changed. Battery is dead, this is actually a bit far and so the old battery loaded on the motorbike and whizz. Continuously like this using owner they buy all the parts - of course, the owner can't go away, so he at least he feels useful when he is unable to fiddle himself. When it starts to look promising the tuktuk is with the help of a shoelace drawn to a gas station, where the gas tank get refuelled (ecologically it's a bit questionable when you put a LPG into a two-stroke engine and then you quench it with motor oil). And now it growls. Then you buy the most important component - a bottle of rum, and now even we are getting repaired. It is clear that while the machine is slowly improving, we are rapidly deteriorating. The first take-off have to wait to the next day.

Driving is strongly about being accustomed to it., at least for me. Gear stick is right between the legs and due to the fact that the accelerator is as on motorcycle at handlebar, shifting gears have to be done by left hand. The clutch and brake are on the floor as at home. What's more tuktuk is having a lot of buttons whose function we discover but one.

Kozáč is already repaired The works are still in process, the level of repaireness is strongly diferrent

My first experience with this alien technology looked accordingly. During changing gears I have my foot off accelerator and still it roars. Another time I stand on the accelerator and it doesn't run. Weird. Changing gears by left hand is not the smoothest and on top of that the traffic around looks as if the whole of the Czech Republic is going at once on vacation to Croatia. Larger street has at least four lanes in one direction and an average of 3 vehicles per lane with bustle resembling snake's nest rather than sleek European stop and go. Driving on the left side of the road doesn't do anything good. And sometimes, thanks to a specially tuned idle tuktuk dies right at the intersection on green lights. And in the middle of it from back seat Kozáč says: "Here turn right. Here we were supposed to turn right !!". During my debut some grandma tries to flag me down. I saved her life by not stopping. If it wasn't her life, then underwear for sure.

I can hardly wait to try to leave Bangkok. I'm afraid that we will be 5 full months wandering around trapped by traffic.

At one intersection we wait for about 2 minutes for the green and so I play and try the buttons. One intersection farther, on the lights again tuktuk suddenly dies. It doesn't start and so we have to push it away. After some time it manages to start. We go straight to another repairman known under the name Tuktuk doctor. The guy glances at it and immediately sees that oil is dripping from the gearbox and immediately starts fixing it. He doesn't do anything with the engine and according to him it's all right. As the time goes, we ask about the unknown button and oops: children do not play with unfamiliar buttons! The lever controls shutting off the fuel supply. Before it will die, it can travel some distance :o)

Our arrival at the hotel is surprisingly calm. Everyone seems lost in their own thoughts and so we don't draw attention at all. When we are leaving tuktuk dies right in between two crowded outdoor pubs where we go for breakfast and dinner. Embarrassment, but it seems that this register maybe three persons. While starting the vehicle shoot into the exhaust, and now we have the full attention of all 300 people, except for two that must be revived the fainting. If you heard about the terrorist attack on Khaosan Road in Bangkok, you know what it was all about. Our tuktuk gained there a new nickname: Fartie.

Some pictures of our services

Next article is on the way, but as it will take some small time, we offer you in the meantime a quiz, which we found thanks to connection with Bangkok social sites. Around Khao San road is lot of ladyboys. This article is it about how to recognize lady from ladyboy. You can try to test yourself whether you can recognize lady form ladyboy. We are really curious about your results :o) Concerning us - we won't start anything funny in here :o))

http://www.thailadyboylovers.com/ladyboys/